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Rejuvenation

James Sentiba
Jan 5, 20241 min read

The art of starting over...


A shot of a plane's wing in the air amidst a foggy blue morning sky with the golden sun shinning in the right corner.
I took this photo on 22 Feb. 2023 during my flight back to Uganda.

My last post was published over what feels like ages ago. It feels like everything’s changed now.

The passing of the Anti-Homosexuality Bill; abruptly abandoning my studies and my life in the US only to return to a country that no longer felt like home; feeling so isolated and alone because no one understood– all this led me to a dark place where I debated ending it all. I couldn’t bring myself to go through with it, so I ran away instead.


I locked myself in my room with my thoughts and I survived the best way I knew how. I had my music. I had my stories, my books, my movies, and my TV shows. All these things inspired me when I felt I had nothing left to give. Allow me to share with you some poems I wrote, maybe you’ll catch all the references. More importantly, I hope you can feel how I felt when I wrote them. Poetry is my guide and comfort. Whenever I have so much to say but don’t have the words to articulate it, I turn to poetry.



Swamp Song


Swamp Song Poem by James Sentiba: nothing left to say, nothing left to do when all hope is lost and there’s nothing left to lose I’ll therapize myself like I always do and make jokes about the future paths I’m bound to choose. *** Relegate me to the forgotten chorus of crickets that sing in the swampy marsh. I am home among the creeping vines. Like curls tangled between silver prongs, I make the palms my resting place. Nothing can harm me here in the weeping wetland where music and wind are the only languages. I float on the wind, humming in unison with the swaying palm leaves.




Write Me A Letter: Interlude


"Write Me A Letter: Interlude" by James Sentiba: Write me a letter and tell me you love me It’s not enough to say it You have to set it in stone. I don’t want a man of words– a romancer, someone whose serenades seduce me and leave me paralyzed. I want a scribe. Someone who etches emotion into motion. Someone who isn’t afraid to Leave a mark.




Your Sleeping Beauty


"Your Sleeping Beauty" by James Sentiba: Once as plain as paint on the wall now glaring at me in the face, a sight so beautiful, it needs no description. That’s because you are the description. Fine vocabulary skating across my field of vision. Finally, I’m awake and I can see everything! I can see how you lead me to destinations of unlimited possibilities. I can see how you articulate my every feeling. You get me. Before you awakened me I was your sleeping beauty. Now I am yours, truly.



Meditation Iceberg


"Meditation Iceberg" by James Sentiba: 100 years ago. It feels like 100 years ago I dusted off the old journal and struck pen to paper like lightning strikes the indigo evening canvas. I sit legs crossed at the center of my hollow bedroom– my chamber of cheer. Normally, the air is thick with warmth and safety. Today, the air is sparse and cold, barely clinging to my skin, but sharp enough that icy daggers penetrate and make me tremble. That feeling of guilt as I sit here breathing in and out, fog leaving the opening of my lips. I sit here frozen in time, reflecting on why I shut out the outside world so that no sound could bother me. Only blue light peeks through the curtains, illuminating my field of vision, but I no longer need it now that I see with my eyes closed. I see generations worth of shame that made me hide away who I truly am. I see them look at me with agape eyes, but mouths sewn shut. Ghosts from days gone by who never got to see the light. I breathe in. And out. I release the weight of their shame. I release my shame and I can hear a crack, like glaciers breaking, as someone opens the door...





Rejuvenation


"Rejuvenation" by James Sentiba: Wake up and take a double-take at your reflection in the mirror. Darling, you are perfection! While you go through this heartbreak remember this revelation: no one’s gonna love you like you so take all you have left and make like rejuvenation.






 

I made a promise a while back to myself to be sentient forever. That means I’m not ever going to stop talking about the stories that matter to me. If you’d like to support me on this journey, please consider subscribing to my free monthly newsletter and never miss a post!


4件のコメント

5つ星のうち0と評価されています。
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ゲスト
2024年1月10日
5つ星のうち5と評価されています。

Swamp Song & Write me a Love Letter!!1 Thank you for sharing your talent!

いいね！
JamesSentiba(Owner Account)
JamesSentiba(Owner Account)
2024年1月11日
返信先

💗Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed some of my poems.

いいね！
ゲスト
2024年1月05日

I really resonate with the Sleeping beauty and rejuvenation poems!❤️

いいね！
JamesSentiba(Owner Account)
JamesSentiba(Owner Account)
2024年1月05日
返信先

Thank you for sharing! I'm glad you were able to resonate with some of these poems.❤️

いいね！

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